Sam flipped through the pages, taking in such quotes as 'Doth bears beareth? Doth bees be-eth?', 'Your own Winnebago, a chance to direct, a piece of the syndication rights....' and 'It is plain the whole town knoweth of the deal 'twixt me and Petruchio. And if the whole town knoweth, then 'tis possible that Kate knoweth. And if Kate knoweth and knoweth that the whole town knoweth and knoweth that we knoweth that she knoweth - knowest what that means?'. Sam frowned in confusion.
Bardulf raised his hand, without looking up from the page he was looking at. "Sir, isn't this the version that they had on the tv show, Moonlighting?"
"And a thousand points to you. Not only are you a Pink Floyd fan but you can appreciate the classic shows as well," Mr Willis stated. "Now I'm going to pair you off with the help of my magic hat." He pulled out a bright orange top hat from behind his back. "I've put all your names in it and I'm going to pull out a name and the person I call is going to pick out a name, you read it out, and that's your partner for the day. Clear?"
A chorus of 'yes sir' echoed through the classroom. Mr Willis nodded and reached into the hat. "First up, our lucky contestant is... Drum roll please... Super Sam. Sam Winchester, come on down."
Sam sighed and walked over to where the hat was being held out for him. He reached in and pulled out a name, opened the scrap of paper and his heart skipped a beat as he read the name on there. "Uh, I've got Cas." He did a mental fist pump at fate going his way.
"Cas, will you go and sit next to Sam please?"
Sam moved to sit next to Cas and he smiled at the other man. He wondered what scene he and Cas would be reading out and hoped that it was the scene at the end where the characters declared their love for each other.
"Next up, we have Daring Dean," Mr Willis said, pulling the next name out of his hat. "Dean Winchester, this is your moment!"
Dean swaggered to the front and pulled out a name and laughed at what was written on the piece of paper. "I've got Britney."
Sam heard a loud growl coming from Bardulf's direction and wondered if he was going to have to shoot the other student to protect the blond teenager, who was sauntering to sit next to Dean.
Mr Willis smiled and stuck his hand in the hat again. "Next on the list is Jugband Blue James." He looked straight at Bardulf. "You're up. Take a chance and let the magic hat read you your fortune."
Bardulf sighed and dipped his hand in the hat, looking like he was praying he wasn't going to get someone he didn't get on with. He read the name on the bit of paper and sighed like it was the end of the world as he knew it. "I've got Barty... Fantastic."
Barty smirked and moved to sit next to Bardulf. "Hey. It's not the end of the world."
"Shh," Bardulf said, moving to put a hand over Barty's mouth. "Why couldn't I have had Dean instead?"
"Aw, don't be like that. I'm sure you love him really," Mr Willis stated with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Like a hole in the head."
Mr Willis grinned and reached into the hat again. "Next up on my Magical Mystery Tour is Dangerous Darcy. Darcy, pick your partner for a lesson of fun and games."
Darcy walked to the front and reached into the hat, pulling out a name. "I've got Zeb." She smiled at her partner and her smile widened as he blushed. She moved to sit down next to him and he shifted in his seat nervously.
Zeb was an exchange student from New Zealand and he somehow bore an uncanny resemblance to Barty but he had light brown hair and blue eyes. Sam wondered if he and Barty were related in some way. He was quite eccentric and had quite the hat collection. Today he was wearing a bright pink fedora set at a jaunty angle on his head. On anyone else it would look stupid but Zeb somehow made it work.
"I really like that hat," Mr Willis commented. "Maybe I should petition that everyone must wear a bright pink fedora on a Friday or something. What shade is that, anyway?"
"Uh, flamingo," Zeb answered, looking embarrassed that he was the center of attention. Sam noticed that Bardulf was eying Zeb's hat, like he wanted to get his hands on it somehow.
"It'll clash with your hair," Mr Willis said, obviously noticing the look that Bardulf was giving Zeb's hat. "Right, let me pick my next team..."
Sam listened as the rest of the students were paired off.
"Bardulf, why don't you and your partner go first?" Mr Willis asked, after all the students had been paired off. "Start off from "For it is plain to any fool."
Bardulf grinned at Mr Willis and read from the page. "For it is plain to any fool. That it be night and not day." He looked like he was thinking 'why the Hell am I the Shrew in this scenario?'
"Day it is if thy husband says it is so."
"Perhaps to a wife blinded by love but mine eyes see clear."
"Love or no. I be thy liege and thy lord that bringth home the bacon and provide a roof over thy thick skull. And that by the gods, if I say the moon be the sun then to you good wife it shall be so."
"Good wife I am in name only, good husband and thus it is the moon and tis the moon no matter what thy says."
"Tis the sun or no sleep for thee."
"Tis the moon and to bed I'm away."
"Bang zoom, I hope they like these jokes on the moon 'cause that's where you're going," Barty retorted.
Sam noticed they were really getting into the scene and he also noticed that Bardulf's accent had switched to a Scottish accent as they spoke over each other.
"Right, that was good, guys. You really nailed the love hate relationship between Kate and Petrucio at that popint in time," Mr Willis said, breaking into the reading.
"Thanks, sir," Barty said, looking at his feet.
"Yeah, thanks sir," Bardulf said, still speaking with a Scottish accent.
Sam looked at Barty, who was looking at Bardulf in shock. Sam thought he looked a little hurt at having his accent mocked like that and made a mental note to confront Bardulf after the lesson.
"Sam, why don't you go next?" Mr Willis said, avoiding commenting on the accent change.
"Uh, okay," Sam said, wondering what part Mr Willis was going to get him and Cas to play.
"Why don't you start from 'Aye, with a purpose'?"
Sam flipped through the pages until he reached the scene in question. It was as he thought, it was the scene at the end. "'Aye, with a purpose," he read, feeling nervous. He didn't want to look up to look at Cas' face. "There's a duty thou must perform."
"You have but to ask, dear husband. I do my best to please thee," Cas read woodenly, almost as if he was reading out a grocery list.
"That thou will. For I, thy lord, thy life, thy keeper. Thou art bound to serve, to agree to what he says to be true above all else." Sam paused for a moment. "Kate! I say, tis the moon and would thou not agree?"
Cas gave Sam a long look, before turning his attention back to the script in front of him. "Husband, I believe thouest art mistaken. If thou taketh another look, I'm quite sure thou error would be clear. Tis the sun, not the moon, that shines so bright."
"The sun you say? That be your final answer?" Sam asked, wondering if he should also ask Cas if he wants to phone a friend. "It is but I have one choice. I look again. Why as I live and breathe. It was indeed a mistake. My wife had called it. It be the sun and not the moon at all. I was wrong. Had learned it from a woman with much to teach. Thou art witness to a revelation. A long time coming. For those with bodies so soft and tender as well. All their gifts be so much more and be allowed to give it freely. This be offensive to men then so be it. Perhaps the time has come for offense. I have struck and deal with thy father if only, and only if I tamed thee. I renounce this deal and ask only for thy affection. Truth be told all was made by all. Kate didn't need to be tamed, only to be loved." Sam took a deep breath after his long speech and looked at Cas, knowing what came next.
"Kiss me, Pertruccio."
"All right, that was brilliant, you guys," Mr Willis cut in, before Sam could do as the stage directions said and pull Cas into a kiss. "You two really showed the love that they were at that stage in the play. You know, in Shakespeare's times, the women on stage were played by men so..."
"So women couldn't be on the stage?" Britney questioned. "Not at all?"
"No. 'Fraid not. If there were any women on the stage in those days, they would've had to pull a Twelfth Night and dress up as a man to be allowed to act."
"That sucks." Britney muttered. "To not be able to even have a chance to show of their skills."
Mr Willis looked at his watch. "We will continue the readings tomorrow." There was a huge sigh of relief from those who weren't picked to read out in class. "I know, the big bad teacher made some of you read out in class. I know I'm mean. We will spend the rest of the lesson discussing how Kate and Pertruccio went from arguing and hating each other to the heartfelt love declaration at the end."
"Fine line between love and hate," Dean stated. "The attraction was there from the beginning but they needed a kick in the pants to admit their feelings."
Bardulf frowned. "I think you're thinking of a different Shakespeare play." Sam noticed Bardulf's accent had switched back to American.
"Much Ado About Nothing?"
"We'll be doing Hamlet before that one," Mr Willis interjected. "Dean has a good point."
The bell rang before he could say any more. "Right, people, I want you to write a thousand words on how the relationship between the two main characters develops during the play."
Sam noticed that Bardulf had rushed out the door. He looked at Cas and the hurt expression as he stood up.
"Sam, where are you going?"
"Uh, Cas, I'll catch up with you later." Sam said, rushing out the door.
"Can I have a couple of words?" Sam asked, chasing after Bardulf as Bardulf headed back to his room.
Bardulf stopped in his tracks and turned to face Sam. "Coffee and shotguns." he replied.
Sam looked confused at Bardulf's reply. "Huh?" Sam asked, as he caught up with Bardulf.
"Well, you wanted some words."
"No, I want some answers."
"Cardiff, answer B, Star Trek."
Sam's frown deepened at Bardulf's random answers. "Be serious. I want to know what that mocking of Barty's accent was about. What do you have against him?"
"Nothing. Not him anyway. I'm not that kinda guy."
"Huh?" Suddenly the double entendre of Bardulf's answer hit him. "Seriously?"
"I couldn't resist." Bardulf shook his head. "You made it too easy for me."
"Why do you hate him? Ever since he came..."
"TMI. I don't need to know what you and he do together, Sam."
"...You sound like Dean. Did you have a personality swap or something?"
"That's wasn't what I meant. Why did you mock his accent in English?"
"Sam, while I appreciate the fact that you are standing up for your boyfriend," Bardulf said, "there are some things I would like to keep private. That includes why Barty and I don't get on. Please don't pry."
"Damn it. Tell me." Sam clenched his fists but held them at his sides, in case he hauled back and punched the dude. It would be worth it to see the look on his face if he did though."Barty got upset when you mocked his accent."
"Did he? Or did he look more shocked than anything at my accent change?"
"Okay, he looked shocked." Sam looked serious. "I didn't think you had it in you to be that mean to him. He can't help being Scottish and has an unusual accent. He doesn't need people to make fun of him for it. I happen to like his accent."
"Really? Well, you're dating him. I guess that accent was as much a turn on for you as it seems to be for other people."
"I wanna know why."
Bardulf sighed. "Fine. I wasn't mocking him."
"No, it was an accident. An accent slip. An error on my behalf."
Bardulf sighed. "Come on. Why else would my accent slip if I heard a Scottish accent? Unless I grew up with a Scottish accent and after a long time hiding it to try and fit in with you Americans, I heard a Scottish accent and caused my accent to drift back to the Highlands." Sam noticed that Bardulf's accent had adopted a slight Scottish accent the longer he talked.
"You're lying," Sam said, grabbing Bardulf's arm.
Bardulf glared at Sam and pointedly looked down at his arm where Sam had grabbed him. "To quote Maddie Hayes in said play that we read in English: Unhand me."
"To quote David Addison: I'll try, but I don't think they'll come off! Not unless I used a machete."
Bardulf gave Sam a look. "A machete? Really? And to answer your inane statement, I'm not lying. Ask Cas if you don't believe me."
Sam lost all patience with Bardulf, cocked his fist back and then punched Bardulf in the nose, causing the red head to fall backwards against the lockers with a loud bang.
Bardulf narrowed his eyes at Sam as he dabbed at his nose with his free hand, which happened to be his right hand. Good, his nose was bleeding. He then punched back with his left hand and caught Sam on the side of his face, causing stars to explode in Sam's vision.
"Yo want a fight?" Sam asked, circling Bardulf. He went to punch Bardulf again, but Bardulf blocked it and then kicked him in the side.
Bardulf turned out to be quite an agile and experienced fighter. Sam thought he recognized some of the moves that his nemesis had used as ones an accomplished martial artist would use. The only thing that would've made this feel like it was from a action film would've been the song 'Beat It' or 'Kung Fu Fighting' playing in the background. He grabbed Sam by the front of his jacket and slammed Sam into the lockers with a strength that belied his slender figure, causing them to bang into the wall with a loud clang. "Black belt in case you are wondering." He frowned. "I think you broke my nose... and my glasses. Damn it!"
"But you have a doctor's note."
"Against doing high impact sports."
"When Dean pinned you against the wall, why didn't you fight him off then?"
"Because believe it or not, I believe in not fighting unless the other person had started it. If he had hit me, I would've done." Bardulf sounded almost sad about that fact.
Sam got the impression that Bardulf had been itching for a fight, maybe to release some of the pent up aggression that had possibly been gathering inside of him since Barty had arrived. He really was a study in contradictions. "Okay, can you let me go?"
Bardulf released him and shook his head, seemingly coming to a conclusion in his head. "Fine, whatever."
"Tell anyone about our little conversation and you will regret it," Bardulf threatened, managing to sound menacing.
"I won't," Sam promised. He knew he wasn't going to but he really wanted to know more about his rival.
"Good. Have a nice day," Bardulf said with a fake smile as he turned and walked off.
Sam stood there, wondering how he was going to learn more about Bardulf. He was going to need Dean's help. First he had to find Dean, and hope Dean wasn't otherwise 'occupied'.
Sam found Dean, deep in conversation with Britney. "...Could come to my room after lunch, if you want," the blonde teenager was saying as Sam walked up to them.
"Yeah, that could work. Or after dinner if you want."
Britney smiled. "No, I have cheer-leading practice after dinner."
"After lunch it is."
"Great, I'll see you there," Britney smiled at Dean and skipped off, flashing a smile at Sam as he walked up to Dean.
Sam gave Dean a look. "Dude, you do know you're not actually a teenager, don't you?"
"What? Don't give me that look, Sammy. She's legal."
Sam shook his head. "Anyway, Dean. I need your help."
"I need to find out more about Bardulf."
"Cas' love interest? Ask Darcy."
"Darcy would tazer me if I started asking her questions about him."
"Don't tell me she scares you."
"She doesn't. I just want to know what I'm up against."
"Break into his room. Poke around."
"I want you to help me. Not get me in trouble."
"The best way to find out something about someone is to go into their room." Dean smiled. "It just so happens that we happen to share a bathroom."
"So we can get in that way. Safer than doing it in the hall where anyone can see."
"True. So when are we going to do this?"
"I have a date after lunch, so... Dinnertime?"
"We'll eat quickly and then go. Make sure he's still eating." Dean frowned. "I want to know what he has against you, Sammy." Dean seemed to notice Sam's disheveled appearance for the first time. "What the hell happened to you?"
"Had a run in with the above person."
"Want me to beat him up for you?"
"No. I started it. I punched him in the face."
"So what started it?"
"He said something... About Cas." Sam saw Dean's face. "No, he wasn't nasty or anything. I just didn't like him mentioning his name."
"So you hit him? Dude, did we swap personalities or something? I'm the one who hits first and asks questions later."
"Cas really does have your tail in a spin, doesn't he?"
"I guess. He's just... Cas."
"You know, Sammy, I never pegged you for liking little nerdy angels but now I can see he is just your type."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well, you're both nerds and you do have that whole 'angel worship' thing going on. Just saying, you're perfect for each other."
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
"Won't you be left out?"
"Nah. I've got my baby, my tunes and a load of willing partners so I'm happy."
"All that's missing is the pie."
"That too." Dean took a deep breath. "Find me a person that can make me the perfect pie and I'll marry them."
"Seriously, you'll marry someone for their pie?"
"People marry for a lot less. But, yeah." Dean patted Sam on the shoulder. "Look, we'll talk later, after we've got some info on your love rival."